epiphany

yes, it's after that sweeney todd song. because that how i feel, i mean, some people are just downright sick fucks that should get nailed by their dicks on a wall and left hanging there for one thousand years or something.
other than that little incident ... i don't know, really. life sucks so much since last september, i can't even comprehend how has it turned around so quickly. i mean, i got sick, then got back to school and everything went downhill. and i dunno where to go from here. if i could just finish high school now and move on to other things... that would probably be the best thing now. i don't think i can bear even one more second there.
in other news, trying out songbird now. somebody tell me why does it eat so much memory, i mean IT'S JUST A PLAYER it's not supposed to eat up 70 MB of my precious RAM. speaking of RAM, i really need more of that shite, because face it - running winamp, photoshop, firefox and miranda at the same time with 512 is just kind of sick. i wish i could drop one of them, but i can't, most of the time.
other than that, i'm afraid i'm getting back into the Pokémon fandom. i mean, the games are really good ... movies too, but i loathe the anime and what i hate the most is the fandom itself. i haven't had much experiences with foreign fans, but the czech community is a bunch of freaks, sick fucks and idiots. worth to mention at this point would be the fact that i basicaly grew up there. go figure. i don't know if i'll ever continue the rant, i really have mixed feelings about the Pokémon business ... and about anime overally, oh, whatever.
well, now i shall go and read some manga or just learn chemistry. oh my god, i'm so not looking forward to this afternoon, although it will probably be a good experience for what i plan to do in the future AKA psychologist.

sum-up

so life has been really strange the last few days.
Ten bought a pink shirt. i almost fainted when i saw him, it's nothing like the Master i once knew and still adore. oh well, i can't do anything about him being a totally different person now. i guess i still need him in a way ... the puppet must have someone to lead it anyway.
regarding Her, well, things are shifty. her mother's being a bitch again ... and i just don't know anything anymore.
school-related ... well, stuff is boring, but i guess it will always be boring. today i had a dream about Vimes, oh how beautiful was that.
now i should probably go and learn German, or the teacher will kill me. i guess it will result into more drawing anyway. also, i'm a wiz now in RO, hail me or something. the kapra quest sucks, i hate searching for people that cannot be seen. same in diablo, i'm playing a necromancer, Nishant, now ... it's quite fun, but i still prefer my dear Eleanor the assassin.
mother just told me i'm supposed to get a haircut. oh well. someone give me some advice? i'll just make some layers and that's it.

i feel emo.

so what's new?
art-wise, nothing much. because all i do nowadays is ragnarok. i mean, yes, i am a dork, but i had to give in soemday, i suppose. so i'm playing on the czech reborn server .. i have a soon-to-be-wizard mage and i play together with reina. it's fun, really.
the american guys were okay. they weren't fundies, so it was fine. we did various stuff with them, i saw the chateu in Kroměříž again for the 21486th time, but it was nice. also, that meant spending some quality time with my classmates and also with Her, so not that bad, i think? i got a CD with music but i don't know the names. this always ticks me off, when i don't know the names of songs.
also, i had a chance to practise my english - so that was good. also, if you have never had played master of puppets especially for yourself, then get someone and do it now. kotel did it for me and i almost climbed up the wall from all the eargasms i had.
in other news, mother decided to spend some money on me and bought me new shoes. very nice, although i tend to look all mature now, very scary.
in other news, today i got real emo and got cut myself up. by a doctor. my hand is all bleeding now, it has stitches and i can't move it. i feel like a cripple.
i'll shut it off for now and go do something constructive. i'm thirsty.

the cards say: you're screwed

so ... before i forget, here, have two pictures. both are discwordl fanart, the shiney thingie is moist von lipwig drawn for reina ... and the second one is His Grace, His Excellency The Duke of Ankh, Commander Samuel Vimes. drawn by reina and coloured by me.
in other news, life started sucking some serious ass again. after that refusal, the burn-out symdrome came down on me again, so i feel even more dead than usual. trying to break it by obsessing over Vimes and reading way too much Discworld. oh yes, the retarded me.
next week, the americans are coming. it's gonna be so sleepy. tomorrow i'm going to the doctors to get myself cut up, hopefully it won't be lethal. today¨s card is the Queen of Wands. no, i don't feel like one at all.

april or something

so ... life is not so horribly silent the last few days. i guess i'm still having the hangover from doing too much life in a year or so, but that will possibly pass ... and then there will be peace, although nobody wanted it much here. or maybe a new adventure will come. i wish i knew
in other news, school sucks. i'm too lazy to do any studying. if i don't listen in the lessons, i'm screwed. which i don't, because most of the time, i eat or chat with people or read Discworld. oh yea, Discworld. and Sam Vimes, it's been so fucking long since i had a fictional crush. but it's a nice feeling, you can keep dreaming without ever having to think the relationship over, since there basically isn't any. escapism at its finest.
also, before i forget, have a nice photo of Herr Holopainen from Nightwish. i wish i could meet him someday. the concert i went to was wonderful, even under the extreme circumstances it happened.
in terms of my relationship[s], looks like everything's okay again. as i said somewhere else ... everything's okay, another crisis can come peacefully. and looks like it's indeed coming, but this time, i won't have to solve anything. i expect more sacrifices from my side, though.
concerning the american students, they're coming next week. i can't help it but think it will be extremely boring. no one cares about them this year, our class is just probably going to hang out together and such. whatever, we've always been a bucnh of arrogant idiots, in a way. think ... millenium from robbie williams. yes.
today's card of the Page of Pentagrams. well, not bad?